Wagon Warrior
The Wagon Warrior is an Immortal Nordic Man with Viking powers and hair. He is a founding member of the United Atheists of Awesome, he is the only one of the founders that is not a Prophet. History The Wagon Warrior is said to be an immortal Viking like warrior from another dimention. In his home land of VGjhgikæ○þV┼zfgfhland, he was origialy known as Elias Goldbeard. Elias Parents where not the wealthiest of viligers in their town, in fact they where known famously around the land as "That family who lives in the house constructed of their own fecal matter". Growing up in VGjhgikæ○þV┼zfgfhland Elias was strong hearted and grew to become a great warrior of his people Known as" The mighty Gold Bearded warrior whom used to live in a poo house", A name that he wore proudly for many a year. Nobody Knows why he became imortal and nobody questiond it becuase they never realy gave a shit. The Exile/Run the fuck away! The Exile /Run the fuck away! Elias Came to this world on cold Jimday(A day that no longer exists) afternoon. The Two Higher Prophets of Lampology (Odin and Feanor) where walking around Antarctica searching for an Anomaly in space and time that they had detected. An Anomaly that they where informed about by Lord Smiffington (The half prophet of trees). during these events Lord Smiffington was trapped in a world where nothing made sense (a land known only as The Badgering Sett) due to him being punished for something that Feanor and Odin had actually done. Before being sent to this world, he gave the two morons who framed him a Quest. Their quest was to go to Antarctica and search for this Anomaly that he claimed to have once encountered when he was sent around the world for no other reason than Odin and Feanor wanted him out the house to look through his internet search history. On their way around Antarctica they encountered many penguins and one frozen hobo, after they gave up and started walking back a strange light apeard. In this strange light they said there was a figure of a bearded man wielding a yellow glowing sword, they then realized he was surfing a wagon of all things and heading right for them. After the crash Odin helped the man up while Feanor was swearing at some Penguins that he suspected to be fascist sympathisers. They asked the man where he had come from. The man explained where he had come from and how he had got there, "my name is Elias, and I am an Immortal Warrior", He then later explained why he was surfing a Wagon cross dimensionality,"I was Exiled from my place for beheading the king of our land. He ruled over with such tyrany and then for no reason broke my finger, so I took forth my sword Biturð and cut off his head, which incidentally pissed everyone off and I had to run like fuck. After running for some time I got on my magic wagon and flew through the skys and then landed on you two" Feanor and Odin believed this story due to the fact they where cold and wanted to go home. Odin, Feanor and Wagon Warrior all got on the wagon and surfed homewards. The Final Treason Wagon Warrior, Wagon Warrior, why did you do it? We who remain ask that to ourselves everyday. On the 20th of October 2014, WW committed treason against the UAA by converting to a creationist school of Buddho-Islamism, attempting to steal CC secrets and finally, by anally raping a goat. Perhaps he had a psychotic break, perhaps he was under the influence of mind altering substances, we shall never know. As he eagerly confessed his crime when confronted, sentencing was swift, death by drowning in jelly. It was a tragic but hilarious death, may he never be forgotten. Wagon Warrior, we remember and hope that you could understand why we had to do it. He is a faggot